After the concert
by Lost Lantean
Summary: Takes place after Music to Soothe the Savage Beast. Jeremy and Aelita have the talk the promised during the XANA attack.


Aelita's first concert was in the history books and for Jeremy, the only regret was that he had missed it the first time. Seeing Aelita up on stage mixing, dancing with his friends and even with her had made this the best night he'd ever had. But all good things had to come to an end and so too did the concert. Now everyone but Yumi was walking back to the dorms and he and Aelita were on opposite sides of the group. That had been Odds... Jeremy shook his head and revised his thought. That was his fault. Odd simply managed to remind Aelita that he hadn't come the first time they lived this night, having been too busy with his programs. That had dampened Aelita's mood considerably and now it was Odd who was consoling her.

Jeremy let himself fall behind, caught in a spiraling funnel of self loathing. He had hurt her badly this morning, poured salt into that wound this evening and now Odd was taking advantage. Odd put his arm around Aelita's waist and then turned his head to press a long kiss to her cheek. Jeremy averted his eyes to the ground and stopped dead, when he looked back up he saw Odd throwing a mocking, victorious smile at him. Ulrich stopped off at his dorm room, sparing an apologetic for Jeremy as he walked past. Jeremy just entered his room, closed and locked the door then flopped down unto the bed. He hadn't even bothered to turn on the light, the darkness simply felt more fitting.

But sleep didn't come at all, not with the torture he was inflicting upon himself. Dreams and hopes for the future were shattered as his mind wandered about all the failures and fights, conveniently ignoring all the growth seen in his relationship with Aelita. Recollections of how his treatment of Patrick disappointed Aelita, how he had so completely and stupidly ignored her for Sissi's cousin, Aelita and Odd's kiss came pouring into his mind. Promises he made and failed to deliver on added insult to his already grievous emotional injury. He looked down at himself through tear filled eyes, and tried to shake himself out of this nightmare.

A glance to the computer provided the possible answer and he got up to turn it on. Maybe he could work himself to exhaustion. It had worked in the past when he had nightmares about XANA maybe it would work now. He sat down and began to work on the data he was before and during the first concert. Maybe, if he could find the answer to defeating XANA, he could give it to Aelita as a going away present. After that he could go to the school of geniuses and she would never have to worry about being disappointed by him again.

The thought was enough to break whatever control he had managed to regain. Bitter tears of loss spilled from his eyes as he considered the happiness she brought into his life, the understanding that he could only find in her. He wiped at his eyes, trying to focus on the positive, that Aelita would finally be free to follow her music and her heart. His sacrifice would allow her to live her life to the fullest. He thought of the joy she was radiating on that stage as the crowd moved to her beat and it helped him find his focus. He would find the solution, free his friends and leave them to live without the constant shadow of XANA. It gave him purpose but did little to ease his pain, pain that he ignored as he worked into the night.

Odd continued to escort Aelita to her room, very happy with his current situation and not noticing Aelita's mood at all. Alone with him in the stairwell she looked over at him as she began to pull away, "where's Jeremy?"

Odd sighed slightly, hearing the melancholy tone in her voice. "He's probably working on whatever he was during your concert." Odd replied nonchalantly as he tried to pull Aelita closer again. "Look,if he doesn't want to hang out with you that's his loss..." He tried to inject some supportiveness into his voice for the next line. "Hey listen princess, don't worry, I mean you know Einstein, as long as he's got a computer and a program to work on he's happy." That didn't seem to help any so he decided to try a distraction "Hey, why don't we listen to the mix that got you this gig?"

Aelita pushed through the stairwell door and looked around the empty hallway as she processed his request. She didn't feel right about this, which was strange. If Jeremy had asked that she would have accepted without hesitation. But Odd, she just didn't feel that comfortable with though she couldn't quite place why at the moment. She unlocked her door and eyed her room for any sort of excuse, the clock did the trick. "I'm afraid not, if Jim catches you we'll be in deep trouble."

"I can hide, Jim won't find me." Odd answered in a silky voice that almost made her cringe. "Come on, just a little music to take your mind off of Jeremy. I'll stay with you the entire night if that's what you need."

Maybe it was the slight suggestiveness of Odds voice but it didn't feel right to accept. Aelita shook her head and answered with a firm no. She could see the disappointment that Odd tried halfheartedly to hide, but to his credit he left without another word.

Aelita closed and locked her door then sat down on the bed, trying to calm her nerves. She thought about this evening when Odd had held her and kissed her cheek. It felt showy more than affectionate, more casual than meaningful. That, she realized, was the source of her anxiety. To Odd she would be a toy or a game, nothing more than a source of amusement for him until he got bored and moved on. It was different with Jeremy, even if it was hard to see. Jeremy was trapped, partially by his personality and partially by the invisible, powerful, almost omnipresent enemy he was fighting on her behalf. But she knew what was behind that mask and what was underneath all the weight he carried on his shoulders.

Small incidents tickled her memory and lightened her mood as she waited for Jim to finish his rounds so she could sneak up and see Jeremy. In her desk drawer she still had the card Jeremy wrote for her when she had been feeling left out during the school's mail call and it still reminded her that she was never alone. There was the Christmas vacation she had spent with Jeremy and his family. Away from everyone's teasing Jeremy's shyness had eased up just a little leaving her with some nice warm memories. During the incident with Sissi's cousin Jeremy had been the first one to see how badly he was behaving and apologize.

At midnight Jeremy heard his door open and he turned around to see Aelita enter quietly then close and lock the door. Jeremy's heart simply shattered as he tried to brace himself for what he was going to hear and what he would reply with. Aelita meanwhile walked to him and turned on the lantern he kept for emergency light. With the added brightness he could see her face clearly and it was not what he expected. The calm, concerned expression on her face held not a trace of anger, disappointment , or pain. She spoke gently, words laced with concern as she asked "Why are you still up?" She could guess, the data and code editors of Lyoko were up on his screen.

"Working, I still have a lot to do in order to find XANA's replikas more quickly, rescue William and defeat XANA."

"We." Aelita corrected softly. The way he answered made was making her nervous and she decided to add "we are a team. You're not alone in this Jeremy."

Jeremy looked up and into the beautiful emeralds that served as Aelita's eyes, after the past day he didn't really feel worthy of the understanding she seemed to be offering. "Maybe I deserve to be..."

"No!" Aelita replied a little more forcefully than she intended. Shaking her head slightly she continued more softly, "why do you think that?"

"All I do is mess up, I've lost track of the number of times I've disappointed you, left you alone when you needed me, failed to deliver on my promises." Jeremy stopped as he felt her hand grasp his shoulder.

"Jeremy..."

"No, let me finish." Jeremy interrupted with a level of sadness that startled Aelita. "I'll find the solution to XANA, then I'll leave school. You can be truly free to live your life without me or XANA constantly messing it up." Aelita leaned in closer to Jeremy allowing him to see the tears in her eyes and the darkness invading her normally bright green eyes. She strained to hear his voice which was so choked with despair that it was all but gone. "I'll leave full contact info so you can always call and ask questions of if you need..."

"That's not what I want," Aelita replied while choking back her own emotion. "It's not what either of us want and it's not what you deserve."

"I don't deserve anything after hurting you." Jeremy replied with a bit of anger.

"You deserve forgiveness, you deserve another chance." Aelita answered back. _And you deserve my love_ she added to herself while wishing she could say those words out loud. She knew her cheeks were red, she could feel the heat of her blush. Leaning forward she embraced him and felt herself be pushed away as Jeremy stood up. Angered, but not enough to give up she put her arms around him again.

At first Jeremy resisted and she responded by holding on tighter. After a few seconds Jeremy stopped struggling and simply stood, rigid, within her arms. But resisting her proved futile and eventually he relaxed into the hug. Aelita squeezed him even harder, hoping that she could convince him of her sincerity through sheer force and physical closeness.

"My little angel," Jeremy murmured, voice slightly strained from the force of her hug. "Thank you" He added as he finally hugged her back. "Thank you" he repeated as he allowed himself to enjoy the fuzzy warmth that only Aelita could create within him.

She felt him bury his head in her shoulder and felt the moisture of his tears on her shoulder. She smiled as she loosened the hug enough to let him breath freely and rubbed his back to sooth him. "You're welcome my prince" Aelita whispered back to him, her own body flooded with warmth and relief.


End file.
